Code Quotes

I choose lazy people to do hard jobs. Because a lazy person finds the easy way to do it.

Bill Gates

Why did the frontend developers leave the restaurants?
-They didn't like the table layout

If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

Edsger Dijkstra

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots.
...So far, the universe is winning.

Rick Cook

Nine pregnant women can’t give birth to a baby in one month

Fred Brooks, winner of the 1998 Turing Award

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.

Bill Gates

I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!"

Vidiu Platon.

A programming language is low level when its programs require attention to the irrelevant.

Alan J.Perlis.

There is a difference between change and progress.

Alan Perlis

A C program is like a fast dance on a newly waxed dance floor by people carrying razors.

Waldi Ravens.

Q: how many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: none, that's a hardware problem

Bjarne Stroustrup

The best code is no code at all.

Dick Gabriel

Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right
If everything did, you’d be out of a job.

Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering

That's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they really hate is lousy programmers

Larry Niven

I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing.


Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live

Martin Golding

Considering the current sad state of our computer programs, software development is clearly still a black art, and cannot yet be called an engineering discipline.

Bill Clinton

More computing sins are committed in the name of efficiency (without necessarily achieving it) than for any other single reason – including blind stupidity.

William A. Wulf

The object-oriented version of 'Spaghetti code' is 'Lasagna code'
Too many layers

Roberto Waltman.

Code never lies, comments sometimes do.

Ron Jeffries

I have always found that plans are useless,
but planning is indispensable.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do stupid things. They are a perfect match.

Bill Bryson

When someone says: 'I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done', give him a lollipop.

Alan J Perlis

Controlling complexity is the essence of computer programming

Brian Kerninghan

Good design adds value faster than it adds cost.

Thomas C Gale

Python's a drop-in replacement for BASIC in the sense that Optimus Prime is a drop-in replacement for a truck.

Cory Dodt

Talk is cheap
Show me the code.

Linus Torvalds

Perfection [in design] is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success.

Dennis M Ritchie.

In theory, theory and practice are the same
In practice, they’re not.

Yoggi Berra

You can’t have great software without a great team, and most software teams behave like dysfunctional families.

Jim McCarthy

PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals.

Jon Ribbens

Programming is like kicking yourself in the face, sooner or later your nose will bleed.

Kyle Woodbury

I'm not a great programmer; I'm just a good programmer with great habits.

Kent Beck

It is easier to port a shell than a shell script.

Larry Wall

When debugging, novices add correct code; experts remove defective code.

Richard Pattis

Computers are great at following instructions, but not at reading your mind

Donald Knuth

Trying to outsmart a compiler defeats much of the purpose of using one.

Kernighan and Plauger, The Elements of Programming Style.

Is it possible that software is not like anything else, that it is meant to be discarded: that the whole point is to always see it as a soap bubble?

Alan J. Perlis

The best programmers are not marginally better than merely good ones
They are an order-of-magnitude better, measured by whatever standard: conceptual creativity, speed, ingenuity of design, or problem-solving ability.

Randall E Stross

If McDonalds were run like a software company, one out of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and the response would be, ‘We’re sorry, here’s a coupon for two more.’ "

Mark Minasi

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.

Donald E Knuth.

Computer system analysis is like child-rearing; you can do grievous damage, but you cannot ensure success.

Tom DeMarco

Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code.

Christopher Thompson

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.

Bill Gates

Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place
Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.

Brian W Kernighan.

People think that computer science is the art of geniuses but the actual reality is the opposite, just many people doing things that build on each other, like a wall of mini stones.

Donald Knuth

First learn computer science and all the theory
Next develop a programming style
Then forget all that and just hack.

George Carrette

Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer
There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris.

Larry Wall

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

Alan Kay

The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late.

Seymour Cray

To iterate is human, to recurse divine.

L Peter Deutsch

On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament]: 'Pray, Mr
Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.

Charles Babbage

Most good programmers do programming not because they expect to get paid or get adulation by the public, but because it is fun to program.

Linus Torvalds

Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.

Martin Golding

There are two ways of constructing a software design
One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies

And the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.

C.A.R Hoare

The most important aspect of software development is to be clear about what you are trying to build.

Bjarne Stroustrup

So much complexity in software comes from trying to make one thing do two things

Ryan Singer

Walking on water and developing software from a specification is easy. If both are frozen.

Edward V Berard

A good developer looks both ways when crossing a one-way street

Doug Linder

Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.

Ralph Johnson, Elements of Reusable Object-Oriented Software

Design is so simple, that's why it's so complicated

Paul Rand, graphic designer

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Design is knowing which ones to keep.

Scott Adams, author of Dilbert

Recognizing the need is the primary condition for design.

Charles Eames, furniture designer